I’ve always lived an active and healthy life. So I never expected that in my 30s, I would receive a rare brain tumor diagnosis.

It all started with an innocent visit to the ER.

I woke up with a painful migraine, vomiting and dizziness – a trifecta of red flags. A few hours and tests later, it was determined I was severely dehydrated.

Before leaving, my ER doctor casually asked if there was anything else to share.

I mentioned how others were making comments on my hearing challenge – which I chalked up to going to concerts, loud outings, etc. I really didn’t think much of it.

This led to an audiology check and an MRI all within that same week. I remember that week clearly as it was a few days before Thanksgiving.

By the end of the week, I got that fateful call from my doctor.

As she spoke, everything in my line of sight turned into a haze. 

I was shocked, confused and couldn’t comprehend. 

My heart plummeted and at the same time I felt like I was in a tunnel moving backwards… a large mass the size of a man’s fist was discovered in my brain cavity.

At the end of the phone call, all I remember thinking was “How am I going to tell mom?“

I was given two weeks to prepare for a 16 hour brain surgery. I had great insurance, a supportive health team, and family who solidly stood beside me. But choosing what steps to take if the surgery wasn’t successful, and coming face to face with my mortality…I felt afraid. 

I was scared of dying without first having done what I wanted to in life yet – like excelling in my career, finding my soulmate, getting married, having kids, traveling, growing old, etc.

Call it intuition, God, my higher self, my future self, but I knew at that moment it wasn’t the right time to grieve or fall into my fear. 

I didn’t know it then, but I know now – my body had its own knowledge – my energy was best reserved towards her survival.

Laying on that operating table, I made a bargain with whatever deity was available to speak with. 

I know trying to bargain was a silly thing to do but I think one considers all sorts of things if faced with a traumatic situation.

And you’re here because chances are you can relate to this after experiencing your own medical event or a physical change.

I promised that if I made it out of this surgery, I’ll do what I m intended to do while still in this world.

Thankfully the surgery was successful. The tumor was mostly removed – it’s benign by the way with a little bit left behind. And it’s closely monitored by my neuro-team – I’ve been in remission for the past 4 years (at the time of this writing in 2024).

Now begins the healing.

The physical changes were devastating and I had to learn to navigate and manage them with very little guidance. What resulted was facial paralysis and deafness on the right side. 

I taught myself how to:

• yawn, breathe and relax my neck muscles to prevent choking and uncontrollable coughing,
• chew, drink from a straw, speak slowly with half a mouth and tongue that is paralyzed
• properly take care of my non-blinking eye,
• find my balance now that my balance department was affected from being deaf in one ear,
• the list goes on

I heavily underestimated the emotional rollercoaster I would experience from the trauma.

• Anger (why did it have to happen to me?)
• Guilt (if I had done something different, I could’ve prevented this)
• Depression and anxiety (fast heartbeat, loss of appetite, sleep disturbances, and overwhelming feelings of hopelessness and sadness) 
• I constantly thought others judged me so self-isolation became my norm
• The reflection in the mirror was a stranger I didn’t like seeing
• I felt fear of someone attacking from behind because I couldn’t hear them (I now wear a hearing aid)

I sought refuge in my health and focused on recovery. 

What I wanted was normalcy. 

I wanted things to go back to the way they were.

Can you relate?

The reality is that things are now forever changed and it took many years for me to find acceptance and peace with that.

To heal, I left my high-stress corporate career and relocated my life to Hawai’i, where I have family.

To cure my self-isolation, fear and anxiety, I became a competitive bodybuilder. 

It was a bit extreme in hindsight. It did work though and the journey through that 4 year adventure helped me out.

Despite the glaring hint and my intuition telling me to make my love for health and wellness my vocation, I experimented with other career paths. All the while, I felt as though something was “off” and that I should be doing something else.

After a few years, I finally gave myself the permission to try out the health industry.

What happened after that quickly catapulted me into the world of health with very little resistance from external forces blocking my way. 

It felt as though the stars aligned and those integral to my growth suddenly appeared out of the blue. 

With it came the clear knowing this is how I am to serve others.

This seismic shift in my life crystallized a core belief within me: we are more than our challenges. 

Every hurdle, misstep, and triumph on our journey underscores the indomitable nature of the human spirit and our profound ability to evolve.

I see our continuous journey of self-discovery as a testament to our innate power to rise, rediscover, and truly thrive.